Wanting to Bring Them Home

If I could, I would pack a few of the children at Baphumelele into my luggage and take them back with me to the U.S.! I have really fallen in love with some of these children. There are three little girls in particular that have stolen my heart…

One of the little girls came to Baphumelele almost a year ago, badly abused. She had burns on her face and most of her body. She also suffers from full-scale AIDs. Although almost 4 years old, she barely speaks and is very tiny for her age. But, from what I’m told, she has made incredible progress in the past 9 months while at Bap. – after she arrived, they did not think she would live very much longer. At first, understandably, she would not let anyone near her, pushed everyone away, and never smiled. She now reaches out for you to pick her up when she sees you coming towards her, smiles at you with the sweetest, small smile, blows kisses at you from across the room, and leans over to kiss the other children on the cheek – especially some of the other little boys. She has the most amazingly quiet and calm nature about her and has very expressive, old eyes. There is something about her spirit that you notice right away – everyone does, she instantly becomes a “favorite” of the volunteers here.

Another one of the little girls’ mother died and then she was abandoned by the rest of her family. She has huge, beautiful, shy eyes and does not immediately warm up to people, but when she does get to know you, she’ll never stop smiling. I took to her instantly – when I first met her she was wearing shoes way too big for her, a faux fur coat with faux leopard trim around the sleeves and carrying around a big purse. She is a very slow and particular eater, one of the only children who does not like to pour food all over herself while eating. She seems healthy to me – other than an occasional skin infection, which most of the children suffer from on and off – and very smart. She helps me set up the little plastic chairs around their lunch tables, sits with me and colors or reads for more than a few minutes, and really tries to talk to me, although, frustratingly, mostly in Xhosa.

The third little girl is quite the character – she makes me laugh every time I see her. She smiles constantly and is always on the move, wobbling across the room. She is almost three but does not make any sounds, other than the occasional whimper or cry. They believe her silence is as a result of trauma she endured when she fell into a coma and almost died a year ago (for reasons I do not know, but am told she has fetal alcohol syndrome), and she attends speech therapy. And, she loves to eat. I’ve never seen a child move across the room as fast as she does when food is brought out!

I would seriously consider adopting any or all of them if it was easier to do for a U.S. citizen, but currently it is not, from what I understand. There is a couple from North Carolina that came to Cape Town a few years ago to volunteer at Bap. They fell in love with a 9-year old girl living here and decided to adopt her. From what everyone tells me, South Africa has almost completely blocked any adoptions by U.S. citizens because the U.S. has not signed a Hague Treaty on international child trafficking. The only feasible way around this (if you are not a movie or pop star), and what the North Carolina couple did, is to move to South Africa for a few years, establish temporary residency, foster the child, and then adopt. The couple’s adoption of the little 9-year old girl went through this past November – she is now 11 years old – and they will move back to North Carolina this coming summer.

This past week a 42-year old woman from New York City joined us out at Bap. In the past year and half, she has been an Aviva volunteer at Bap. for three different 6-week stints. This time, she is here for only two weeks to visit Nana, a 3-year old boy at Bap., that she desperately wants to adopt. She previously has met with members of Parliament, social workers and lawyers here and they have all basically told her the same thing: South Africa will not allow U.S. adoptions right now and her best bet would be to move here. She is still trying, however, and has heard that in 2007 the U.S. plans to sign the Hague Treaty, which could change the adoption landscape here. She also wonders to herself whether adopting Nana is the right thing to do – and so goes the other argument about taking him out of his environment and away from his culture, especially by a white person. I understand those arguments, but when I sat out at an outdoor Christmas concert at Kirstenbosch Gardens last Friday night, as the sun set behind Table Mountain which encircles the Gardens, I could not help but think about the children at Bap. and wish so much that they each had their own family, whether from South Africa or the U.S, black or white, that could take them to such a concert as well.